did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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