Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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