i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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