i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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