Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
