3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
