No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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