She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
