I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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