Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
