im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
