BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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