Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you inspire me to be a worse person
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
