You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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