I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
