Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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