I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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