Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
