i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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