batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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