yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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