How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
