You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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