Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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