dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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