? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
