brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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