I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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