she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
