I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
