He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
