We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
