boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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