He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
