similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
