I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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