Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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