Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
