Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
