So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
