are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
