So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
