She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
