I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
