Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
