when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I can't turn off my feet"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
