my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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