dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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