Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
