I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
