i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
