GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
